Benjamin Ritter: Live For Yourself
Dr. Benjamin Ritter, is a leadership and career coach, values geek, national speaker, podcaster, author, mentor, and passionate about guiding others in finding, creating, and sustaining a career they love. He is the founder of Live For Yourself Consulting where he **works with individuals to develop their personal brand, get clear on the work they were meant to do, and grow that into a meaningful career either in an organization or out on their own.
Show Notes:
https://www.liveforyourselfconsulting.com/
(mailto:benjaminritter@lfyconsulting.com)
Erin 00:05
Hi, everyone, welcome to call me crazy. I'm Erin master Pietro join alongside Michael Benatar. And this is the podcast where we interview inspiring innovators, like today's guest, Dr. Benjamin Ritter. He's a leadership coach. And he really helps people find and sustain the career that they love. He's the founder of live for yourself consulting, which I think is a very well suited name. So, Benjamin, welcome to call me crazy. We're excited to get into it with you.
00:31
Thanks for having me on. I think I call myself crazy a decent amount of times, but didn't like that nice way like, Man,
00:37
that's crazy. Like, that's awesome. Like,
00:39
go for it.
00:40
And I'm happy to be on the show to be able to kind of like, accept my craziness, dive into it.
Michael Benatar 00:46
Yeah, yeah. Well, we'll dive into it. So I'm always curious, because we've talked to a few coaches, we also have a coach of our own. How did you get into coaching because I was feel like, everybody has a very unique path of arriving there. I mean, our coach, I felt like he just understood that this was what he was good at. And kind of did it.
Erin 01:06
Yeah. Cuz people kept asking him the questions. Yeah, help solve. And then he ended up just making that his business. So how
Michael Benatar 01:11
did you get into it?
01:13
I kind of tell people, it's like, I don't plan on being a coach, even though I'm a coach. It's, but it is. It is something that I truly love doing. It's a value of mine. So there's like, we'll talk about this later. But there's not an ego attachment to the fact that I'm a coach, and I have a coaching practice, you come up to you tomorrow and give me an awesome opportunity in the l&d space like leadership development space, I'll probably jump on it if it makes sense, just because it's going to help me develop greater career capital. But in this story of how I got into coaching might explain that a little bit more. So when I was in college, this is like the fast version. So fast forward, like, let me know if you want to like hit pause on the remote and ask some questions. Your hand. So fast, fast, fast mode, fast forward story, lost my identity in college, I was a collegiate athlete ended up not being a professional athlete, which was what my goal was. So I had no self identity. So like, really just, like, dived into the personal development space. Because I was I was at the time, like, socially awkward, didn't know who I was, like, was crushed to then have a purpose. So just self taught myself and how to just be a normal human being in my mind, like what a human being,
Michael Benatar 02:18
I'm going to press pause for one second, how long did it take you to realize after that you weren't going to become a professional athlete? Like, what did that? What did that feel like? Because I tried describing that to Aaron once about how it's a very hard change from working into working in something when that is your identity and then shifting over. Because it's not only I guess, your ego, but it's also public facing you know, your friends, your family, all of a sudden, you're now doing, XYZ, how long and like, how long for yourself like that self identity, the understand that this is what I have to do now to become something else, like you're just changing all of a sudden, something you've known all your life.
02:59
Yeah, so luckily, I think I realized that my mind was holding me back and impacting my performance. And so I started studying about confidence and, and the mental game of things while still being an athlete. So I had a nice Foundation, I think in terms of like, how to, like, for example, if you want to build your self identity, you need to put yourself into uncomfortable situations, so you can grow. So luckily, I had the confidence to go into those uncomfortable situations consistently, after I decided I needed to change. But after I decided to, like after I was out of sports, to really feel good, like personally and say, like, I'm great, um, I feel good about where I'm at, we're probably talking about three, four years, and the whole journey was probably five or six. Okay. And, and then I still, like the career aspects thing didn't come up in any of those studies, which ended up leading me down a path like that brought up coaching again. So that was just my personal development. I wouldn't say it was my professional development.
Michael Benatar 03:59
And what so when it switched over, when you're starting to, you know, follow that journey? What were the frustrations along that way? That because I always, I don't know, because I tried to extract describing this to you once where I used to do, I did radio back in like high school to college, and I felt like this is this is it, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do this. And then I ended up just quitting one day finishing school that I moved out to LA because I was kind of over it. But for me, it was really hard transitioning from that and then also transitioning to when we became business owners. And there's a lot of struggle along the way and what was there that kind of help you through that struggle because
Erin 04:41
a lot of people have like a turning point event but sounds like maybe you realize it on your own but a lot of times we have people on they're like well this happened in my life like there was no like a big thing it was there anything
04:50
a couple Turning Point events and like the reason why you know so I said three six months but that was like me studying daily like me like reading books and me just going I don't know if that's long or short in your minds. But for me, I feel like that's rather, it's rather short in terms of I was like, I felt complete. Like, there were a lot of learnings and teachings and wisdom that I preached today that I learned, you know, 10 years ago during that during that time in my life. But personally, it was just the fact that I consistently was really mentally and physically unhealthy. Like, there was a time period when I was an athlete, that I was so focused on this having to be my one thing that I achieve. And the one thing that I do with my life, I ended up developing a lot of like, I guess, unhealthy mental attachments to the sport and with myself, so it was a really bad place to live in. As I think as a person, I don't wish that on anybody. And so maybe that's why there wasn't this major turning point. It was, Wow, I can't believe I've been here for so long. This needs to change. It was like this is consistent, this needs to change, this needs to change, this needs to change. You know, the one moment that really sticks out in my mind when I, when I realized that I kind of really had to do this on my own was when I was in practice. And I finally got up the courage to tell coach that my mind was holding me back from my, from my ability to perform in the sport. And he goes, I can I swear, don't worry. I'm not your fucking therapist. And so I go, you're right, you're not, I better handle this. Though, if there's ever like one memory that really sticks out to me, that was probably one of the strongest in that, that really, I think probably motivated me even more to say you need to fix this, you need to change?
Erin 06:29
How did you figure it out? Did you have any, I feel like you might have some good books or something up your sleeve, like when you have to figure out how to trick your mind. To to move on to the next thing like what did you do? Because your coach, you know, turned you away? Did you get a business coach.
06:45
So coaching has come up a few times. So basically, when I was out of school, and I was happy with myself, personally, I was looking for a job professionally. And and by the way, if there's one thing that stuck from being an athlete, for the majority of my life, it was really, really disliking sitting behind a desk and working for anyone at any time because I never actually bought into the fact that I was gonna work for somebody sure, if you're like an entrepreneur, or you're thinking about starting a business, like look back in your history and say, Where did these beliefs come from? Because instead of it being as an escape from the nine to five, which is really a lot of times that Escape is built on, on beliefs that aren't true. Is it something that you're just used to? Because for me, like, I never thought I'd actually work behind the desk. And then you know, I grew up with a father who was an entrepreneur who built you know, homes and houses and like I was in, you know, I was in sewage drains, pulling out clogs with him when I was a kid. And so that kind of came with me what I think as a professional adult, too. But to answer your question, by the way, the book reframing was one of the greatest books I've ever read in my life on how to actually change your thought patterns and limiting belief systems. Okay, basically, what it does is, have you heard of that before?
Erin 07:51
No, no, we read one called Psycho Cybernetics. Which is really like retraining your thinking, well,
Michael Benatar 07:57
it's kind of like cuckoo magic, but it's still the cyber cybernetics. He's like a guy that, you know, thinking a lot, and I think there's something to it, but it's not. I don't know, the cyber side knows, to me was a very, like, take what you will from the book, but if you book 100%, believe it, I felt like it was a little too much that like, you know, like a lot of stories a lot of I don't know, is it was written back in with like, the 20s or something like that
Erin 08:24
it was really powerful. But well, we'll check out frames.
Michael Benatar 08:26
Yeah, framework. Yeah.
08:28
No. So reframing Richard bandler. And basically all of these is having Converse, it's sitting in yourself, and having giving every single belief that you have within you level of awareness and acceptance, and understanding that it actually developed for purpose. Like, there's a reason why you feel the way you do and think about yourself the way that you do, because it keeps you safe in a way. And so accepting that understanding that and then figuring out different beliefs that serve the same purpose, beliefs that are positive and proactive and are going to actually help your life. And then having a conversation with yourself internally, if you're willing to accept those beliefs. And you do that consistently. And there are some other exercises he goes through in terms of how to actually take away some of the attachment and hold from powerful memories. But really, that's that's what reframing is, and I work with my clients on this when it comes to building confidence, which is the second C of self leadership. It's identifying what your negative thought patterns are, understanding where they came from, and then altering them to serve you where you want to go serve your goals, which is clarity, the first see, and then to just reiterate those consistently, either through actual actions that you're doing through speaking to yourself in a certain way through surrounding yourself with a specific community, or also learning new skills that relate to those beliefs as well. And we're probably sidetracking but I think it's relatively important.
Michael Benatar 09:54
Yeah, it's it is very it's kind of like Aaron's been getting into a lot of You know, not saying that hardcore psychedelics but you did like mushrooms microdose seen? And I think just the thought of that, right is like very kind of removing yourself from the situation and understanding and giving yourself time to like, what are these thoughts, you know, you Aaron mentioned, you know, the one time when you did it the other day or something, how free of anxiety you felt, because you could think differently, and you're kind of out of that space. But it is something that we're all in our heads all the time and to have that escape, or just that path and knowledge to understand, oh, this is just my thought, it's not who I am or what I'm doing, I can move away from that, because I can think differently. And I know how to, you know, I like you're saying, like, reframe your point of view on everything. And I think that's really powerful if you can actually achieve it, you know, by yourself or with a coach or even with, you know, doing some mushrooms
Erin 10:57
alongside, you know, working on yourself. But yeah, cuz it actually physically opens up, you know, new ways of viewing things in your actual brain. So if you pair that alongside maybe reading a book and kind of questioning and looking inward, I think it could, I think it really can help a lot of people help helps me.
Michael Benatar 11:15
So how did you become a leadership coach? And now what were those steps actually, like, okay, we we've identified, I'm not going to be an athlete, I'm going to go here, and I'm going to, I'm going to work hard. How did that all fall in place, because I think that's a business where it is putting yourself out there a lot, and then delivering people the goods within themselves, which is a really hard job to do, because you're basically saying, I'll help you get to where you need to do, it's almost like a, you know, a fitness coach or something, you know, I'm gonna go work out with the guy like, they have to deliver results, or they're not going to be in business anymore. And that's a scary thing. So how did you how did you come across this, like, this is what I'm doing now.
11:58
My career has never been about doing things I love. It's been about doing things that I feel that are going to add value to my life. And that made me a lot of money. And so like, because I was trying to become uncomfortable. I was trying to learn new skill sets. So it led to me working at music festivals working in the hospitality and bar industry, getting a graduate assistantship, like working for the university because it paid for my you know, to graduate degrees. It had to do with me, you know, working an internship because it related, you know, you helped you so like all these things that I did with my career were based on achieving a specific outcome, not me sitting back and be like, what do I want to do with my life? Because the one time I did that, when I selected nutrition, and Dietetics, in college, they canceled my major and it just was like, Okay, what am I going to do now, I guess I'm just gonna go get a business degree. And so I ended up, you know, thinking that I had certain passions, like, one other time that I had a passion. So I was getting my mph in health policy, I thought I was going to change the world through food policy, because I had some issues with corruption, the government, things like that, within the pharmaceutical industry and food industries and stuff. And two and a half years off of that, out of that program, was a lovely recession around 2010. And I was provided job opportunities from the CDC, and the Illinois Department of Public Health from a couple other health facilities, that would have been perfect positions for me at the time. And after I would sign on the dotted line, they were stripped away. So I'm in this space of I had passions I was interested in, in really pursuing things that I cared about with my career. And every time I did that was crushed. So eventually, I ended up in healthcare, and I have a seven year career in healthcare, I end up as an executive. Now in between that time, I actually received the federal grant from the government for free, free life coaching. So I ended up having a coach, I was selected for 16 months of leadership coaching through the healthcare organization. And it was paired up with the director of people as my coach. And I ended up launching a coaching company in a different industry for five years. And so I end up in this place in my career at healthcare as an executive, not really like not liking my job pretty resentful towards my employer, because I finally got to the point where, hey, I'm not where I actually think I want to be or need to be, I felt pretty stuck. And that led to a vicious cycle of blaming my employer, blaming everyone around me getting negative about my work, pulling back for my work, and then not having anything to care about, and then just getting getting further back, and then investing time trying to grow a business that I didn't care about as well. And I was happy and because it kind of fell into my lap. And then it was kind of like, whoa, hold on a second. I'm in the same place I was a while ago. I'm really happy internally, but now I'm not because I'm unhappy professionally. And all I've been doing is reacting in my life instead of being proactive in my career. And so that's when I sat down and said, Okay, wait, you actually can decide what you want to do.
Michael Benatar 14:48
Let's go figure that out. And real quick, just for people that are listening. The you mentioned, like multi years of doing everything. You don't look like a day over like 27 so you're not like he's not 50 anything like this during the podcast, you're still very young. So I just want to let people know because you're like seven years doing this five years doing that and doing that. grad school. You're not that old. So you're still Yeah, I just want people to know.
15:12
Yeah, so. So I can give I'm 35. And within that time frame, I've had all these different types of jobs, different career paths, I've launched a supplement company, I almost launched a Coffee Company, but I didn't, because when I was younger, I didn't have the confidence that I do now, which we can talk about, and just really just tried to live life and I get an idea. And I go for it. And before that was in my personal life, and now you know, since I think 2015, has been in my professional life. And other than these crazy busy kind of jobs that I've had, where I've had kind of I've had plaster poured on me to become a Civil War Museum mannequin, I would dress up in different costumes, and go into bars and promote movies and things like that, like there was all these different things that I did, just to experience life. And I think anyone that wants to start a business, if you're not, if you haven't done any sort of work in the industry that you want to work in, you have such like, you're missing out, like, let's let's go volunteer, go internship, go start a small little company, go call someone up and go shadow them for the day. I think there's a lot of opportunities out there, because all my career experiences have made it so like I've had just been a game changer when I go to speak with individuals from different backgrounds and different companies.
Michael Benatar 16:19
And I think that's something that a lot of young kids or kids in college now, I don't know if they're gonna go out and do like internships, like I did a ton of internships, I know you've done stuff where you just working for free, go work for free, and it's the best experience, it was better experience and going to college. I feel like because you learn, oh, this is like how it's done. This is how the magic sauce is made.
Erin 16:41
So with all these options that you have, you've had a lot of work experience, how did you find you know, the focus? and make that decision to kind of what you're doing. Now, I know you mentioned like the three C's one of wishes clarity, like do you have some, you know, tips for people that might be kind of like, not sure where to turn after trying a bunch of different things.
17:00
So I, I know this is about starting a business. But I have to say it wasn't my first gut reaction when I was unhappy in healthcare. And when I finally sat back and asked myself, what my, what my strengths were, what challenges I wanted to face, who I wanted to work with what I cared about, it led to professional development in coaching. And hey, I was in a leadership program sounds like a perfect opportunity for me to actually go work for the people that developed the leadership program. So my first step was to actually to go activate that, you know, those contacts, went to my VP, they gave me permission, and I started working with them, I started enjoying those projects. And then they actually ended up canceling a lot of the things that I was working on, we got acquired for the second time. And so everything was just kind of halted again. And I wasn't gonna give up though. So I started looking for jobs, I did not think oh, and started business started looking for jobs in the space. But it would have been a huge step back for me professionally. So I thought, I know how to start a coaching business. I've been doing this on the side, I like coaching, I like working with individuals, these are the strengths I've identified. Let's do this again. But let's actually do it for a type of outcome and goal, like getting unstuck in your career, developing professionally, etc, that I care about, because you care about something, your levels of motivation are higher, you enjoy your days more, you have greater alignment, you build network and relationships that you actually care about, it's more likely to invest time in them and spend time cater and nurturing those relationships. And then I thought to myself, well, how do I make this happen faster, and let's go get my doctorate will get published in the field, etc, via was via conferences, and it was a younger kid at the time who's gonna hire me to coach executives, and that's where that's where that all came to be. And so if someone's sitting here saying, Well, what do I do? How do I make a decision? It's, you know, you'd have an infinite amount of paths in front in front of you that you can choose to take, those don't matter as much. What What matters is, what is what is underlying all of them. And those are your values. And those are the things that you truly do care about that you want to show up as, like if someone's, if someone goes, What do you do for a living, you could say an infinite amount of things. But if they all relate to these specific causes and meaning at their core, then you'd be pretty happy about it. So it's to sit back and ask yourself those questions such as, you know, what do I care about? What are my passions? What challenges do I want to face? What impact I want to have in the world? Like those are probably some of the most important questions. And then how did those intersect and align with the things I've been like that I've learned that I've paid people to teach me my strengths and my skills, the things I just think that I'm relatively good at, and potentially, maybe the people that are in my network and my community if you don't want to, if you don't want to go create a new community, which a lot of us have to do when we launch a new business. And those same questions can intersect to help you figure out what business you want to create. And it's like, it costs me so I remember it cost me i was i was i was thinking I wanted to launch a supplement company and it's off of random idea. It cost me 1200 bucks, ever all in everything. And I had a company and so people that are As a leader, if they ever think about launching any sort of product or anything, that if they think it's like unrealistic or in the clouds, and that was probably more expensive than it needed to be, you can you can start anything that aligns with your values in what you deem is important, what impact you want to have in the world for a little bit of money.
Michael Benatar 20:17
Yeah, I think the thought of it, sometimes the anxiety is very crippling, like, just to get to the point of making it you know, we were watching Shark Tank last night, and this guy made some weird cheese thing. And everybody's kind of congratulating him on Oh, well, good job. You're one of the 1000 that you know, actually made it to the stage and made a product and you're here. It's not great, but you did it. And I think anybody can, you know, I have a little sister that wants to start a company. And I think she just is stressed out by the idea of how much has to go into it. But when we started our company, dope, dog, we didn't think about it, we're just like, Yeah, we got to do this, we got to do that. There's like, steps along the way. Cuz if you think about all the stuff you have to do, it seems like it gets, you know, really stressful, just thinking about the million things that there are to do this our company, but you know, like 1200 bucks, have a supplement company or you can be an affiliate and just like not even have any money and just sell somebody else's product. And it is wild. But I think sometimes when you're in it, like you know, you're in it, we're in this world, I think sometimes we just know like, Oh, yeah, there are a lot of paths to it. And I think that's the interesting point of becoming an entrepreneur just becoming like kind of opening your mind a little bit, right? And that's me,
Erin 21:35
Well, once you've done it once, then then it's that much less of a big deal, when we but then when we first started, it's often nice being such a beginner and having a beginner's mind, because you're not really, you can only overthink it so much. Because you don't even know what you don't know. So I don't know. Yeah, I think there just needs to be one thing that can drive someone to start whether you're just stoked about your idea, and you do it or you're just crate quote crazy, and you just go for it. So I don't know, I always say people just take the take up, take one step, take the first step, you don't have it all figured out. So
22:08
if people are calling you crazy, you're probably around the wrong people. And especially when you start to start a company, there's there's two things I'd say you probably really need to do before you actually do anything with as an entrepreneur, it's redefined how you see what an entrepreneur is an entrepreneur is, is not it's not like an escape, it's not a golden ticket. It's it's not this unique thing that only certain people can do. It's, it's just like a it's an it's I want to normalize it, I think it's it's an it's a normal thing, for you to just decide to put something out there and sell it's basically just an exchange of goods. It's like you going next door and offering your neighbor's some cookies that you bake and selling it to them, boom, you're an entrepreneur. And I think a lot of people complicate the definition because there's, there's some people I was interviewing the CEO the other day, and he said, you know, an entrepreneur is someone that is innovative, and creative and unique and disruptive, like entrepreneurs, just anyone that sells a good to anyone else. Yeah, I feel like and so if we can make it simpler, and we can take the scary bits away from it. And maybe we can get some more people interested in it. And then but then the the the the the second thing is to surround yourself with people that that are active in the field. And to start building a community and start even listening to things that relate to what you're doing what you want to do. I can't tell you how many clients I started listening to that want to work in a new industry, but don't know anything about the industry. And they're not spending the podcasts or listening to the books, they're they're reading the TV shows that they're watching. They're not spending that time, like having those relate to where they want to go in their life. Because that could be game changing.
Michael Benatar 23:47
It is funny because when you said something about the entrepreneur, I feel like people think it is that golden ticket, like you said, and I would say if you really want like money, I would say maybe don't be an entrepreneur because there's a lot of blood sweat and tears that go into it before maybe maybe the your business survives and you do make some money. I think almost calling it like a small business or something else might be less stressful for people to enter into. Because it is at first a small business that's you can call it a startup, whatever you want to call it. But it is that weird thing where you put the entrepreneur on and you think like you're gonna be, you know, the next Ford or Steve Jobs or something, you know, whatever, Ilan Musk, you know, you can just do it. Like, we're just selling dog treats on the internet, but it's a startup, you know, people are were employing people were making money. That's these weird things that it doesn't need to be a billion dollar business. It can just be a very business that, you know, fulfills your lifestyle. And that's all you really need. And it's a it's definitely wild. So what are some of the success stories or leadership stories you've heard from some of the people if you can tell us anybody that you you coach now and yeah, stories.
24:59
I do. Just want to comment real quick and something about the dog company. Yeah, because I think some people go, I'm just going to create dog treats, and then they sell dog treats. And I'd like to say, how many entrepreneurs do you know business owners, you know, they just have one business, if you like, it's there's a CEO, right? They have one business and the CEO of the company, they're employed, maybe they're on a board of directors or something. But with an entrepreneur, it's not just dog treats, it's we've partnered with local, you know, shelters to sell our treats there, or we, we have started a volunteer service, and it's sponsored by this, or we also sell dog apparel, and leashes, or Now we also have a supplement line that we've integrated in the treats. So it's kind of like when you think about being an entrepreneur, I think we get very niched into this one specific idea. But businesses are not, they're usually built off of one idea. Like they're built off of multitude of related ideas. And that's actually that, that that actually leads to greater innovation, creativity, more contacts, or partnerships and more overall success for your business. And so if we go into entrepreneurship and business with this idea, this is the one thing that I need to do on this the only thing that I'm going to do, I like the question that and challenge that and say, let's create multiple revenue streams, let's create multiple innovative ideas that can build off of the one thing that you have that relate to the underlying values of why you started your business in the first place. Okay, that was no, I agree. I agree.
Michael Benatar 26:23
Because I think every entrepreneur, even ourselves, we're dabbling in other things as well, we're, we're starting little businesses over here. We're trying to expand our line where we're always trying to grow. And yeah, you can simplify it a lot. Like, yes, it is dog treats, but Aaron, you know, accounting, there's software who's managing this, it becomes You're the one man show, basically. So yeah, you're right. It's it's a lot.
26:49
So in terms of success stories, I mainly work with, so I work a lot with senior managers, directors, VPS, CEOs, and such. And then also entrepreneurs, I like to say I work with entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs. And mainly when I work with a client, it's because they doubt their success. So they they have the title of entrepreneur, but they don't actually feel like their business center rush, but they don't feel like they deserve the title. Same thing as if they're a leader. And the the overall just feel they feel stuck doubting themselves, they feel stuck, they don't feel like what they're putting out in the world actually matters. It's not really what they wanted. So all of a sudden, now they they're, they're not able to take action. They're kind of frozen, in their own mind, with worries of the future worries of the past and not really not really feeling they're there. They're deserving of where they are in the present. And that, of course, limits their success, but they don't take action, they don't send the emails I need to send, they don't create the products they need to create, they don't work on their to do list. And that that's debilitating completely. So if we wanted to talk specifically, there mainly work with service based businesses, I do some some like consumer packaged goods in the food industry, because it's a passion of mine. But in the in the leadership, leadership development, business itself, a lot of times people come to me when they want to start becoming an entrepreneur. So I was working with a client that worked for a major, major corporation, the logistics industry, and she just was very choosy who I was way back when very resentful towards her job, resentful towards her leader, not feeling like she was doing what she really wanted to do with her life. And one of the projects she was working on was in the leadership development space. And honestly, she just wanted to break off and create her own company working with organizations and talent development, as a contractor. And as a consultant, we worked to gain some greater clarity on what what services she wanted to provide, why it truly mattered to her, works heavily on our confidence. And our inner critic, you know, she was in this creative mindset where she felt like she had to listen to all the other experts instead of create what she actually wanted to sell. And so that led her to just be in this constant inflow of energy instead of outputs a lot of input without any output. So we turned that completely on its head and created a new rules for behaviors, which led to some pretty incredible programs, filled some just normal, hard skills in terms of business knowledge, helps her actually finally make a decision to leave her employer, and then pitch them to become one of her first consulting clients, which ended up happening because she went to a different department. So we focused on building relationships in multiple departments before she left, and when she left instead of because she had such a negative relationship with our current leader, she used to relationships in those other departments to actually build it. A consulting agreement and a new client so that was pretty powerful. That was great to see.
Michael Benatar 29:35
And when you say building relationships, what is your definition of that like in a, you know, business setting? We're just asking, like, you know, Aaron, come on, let's go grab some lunch today and we'll kind of talk her how do you develop it because I mean, we're not in a business we work at home we we live together you know, we do it all in a business setting. How are you approaching that relationship building without I guess, you know, it could go one way could go creepy or be like, just Oh, you're just really annoying Bob, like, Just leave me alone. What are you doing here.
30:04
And this is where developing your personal brand. No, I hear you. This is where the clarity piece comes in. So self leadership, clarity, confidence and control. If you develop these three C's, you can take action on anything in your life. And the clarity piece really, really dives into what someone cares about why they care about what their goals are, and how they're going to actually make progress towards their goals. And that helps you develop your personal brand. So if someone comes up to you and says, you know, what do you do, and you're able to answer that completely, and it relates to the business that you're creating, or that you've created. If you can't do that, then you're not building relationships is basically almost worthless for for starting a business. So, to build a relationship, you need to first have a really strong understanding of what you are building what you are offering what you do care about. And it doesn't have to be exactly your service offering. But it has to be for me, personally, leadership coach, I'm talking to someone, I'm talking to them about job satisfaction, I'm talking to them about leadership development. I'm talking to them about entrepreneurship and small businesses, I'm talking to them about confidence and taking actions for the things you care about job crafting. And so I'm not going up to them and selling them, sure, but they know that this is my brand. And so building a relationship really requires you one, just get curious about somebody else to learn about them to build rapport, and then to share the things that you care about. And that's it. And then when you're ready, when you're ready to ask them for something, either an introduction, or if they want to buy from you. They they're they're prepped, they're ready. They're warm. They know you are an expert. They know this is something you care about isn't out of left field. And how many entrepreneur? Yeah, I don't know how many entrepreneurs that they think, you know, they, they and I went I went through this, where I was actually a different brand. And then I pivoted into the leadership development space, it took me a year and a half to change my brand.
Michael Benatar 32:00
Yeah, I was gonna say, because you have to have a solid brand Foundation, like I'm sure, you know, we could point to our friends and be like, that's their brand, like we know them well enough, because that's their brand. And it's, it's almost hard to change your brand to not only to people but to yourself,
Erin 32:17
probably harder to identify your own brand. Because you're yourself
Michael Benatar 32:20
not identify but to like live it right. Like, oh, yeah, you know, I like to take bats like maybe that's part of my brand. I like taking bats and then you know that it's like, well, maybe I'll get Michael like a birthday gift because he loves that game bats or something like, it's hard. I actually do love taking back antibodies
32:35
and bath buttons. Yeah.
Michael Benatar 32:39
I don't have a sauna. So I gotta use a bath. But I think it's really hard to you almost have to like live it fully. To be that brand. Are there any tips for that too? Like, in that year and a half when you were becoming the new brand? What did you do? Was it a lot of, Hey, I'm doing this to friends and family, I'm becoming a leadership coach. And this is how I'm seeing just kind of constantly talking about it.
33:04
At the time, because I had a different business, this can be difficult for people that have two businesses, then it's your brand becomes a little bit more convoluted, depending on what you're trying to sell and focus on at the time. But I had to stop. So I stopped the podcast I was doing for the other business, I got rid of that. I actually took down a lot of the things that were online and started saying no to opportunities that didn't align with what I wanted to build. Interesting, okay. And I said to that point, you know, whatever your brand is, I should be able to see if I google you online, or if I look at your LinkedIn profile, or, like if I go to your LinkedIn profile, and I just see a mess of positions in a bio that's not filled out and no header image, or at least anything that you care about what you're trying to build, then you're then going through, there's a big issue. Because
Michael Benatar 33:54
one of the two, right, what was that? I said, or they don't like LinkedIn?
33:58
Yeah. Which is, which we'd have to talk about. Now, if you want to start a business. LinkedIn is like, it's lit. You don't even have you don't even need a website anymore. have a LinkedIn profile, promote your business, you know, and again,
Michael Benatar 34:10
I gotta use it more. I mean, I'm just like, so anti LinkedIn, I'd rather have a tick tock account than a LinkedIn account, which is so bad. I got it depends
Erin 34:17
what network you're trying.
34:18
Yeah. It does depend. Yeah.
Erin 34:22
If your audience is 13 year old people dancing, then you better have a link. No, I
Michael Benatar 34:26
like I guess it's just like, there's so many different ways. And I think LinkedIn, we've talked to so many people on here that love LinkedIn, my LinkedIn profile is like, can pass you know, it's it's there, but it's not I wouldn't say Damn, that's a great author. I think Aaron is more an all star on LinkedIn. Yeah. Well, to that point,
34:45
it doesn't have to be, you know, the this all star profile, but it has to be your brand. Yeah, it's now I know a lot of people that don't like Instagram. I'm not a big on Instagram haven't profile there. But if you have an Instagram I think you'll get a little bit more leeway with Instagram because you can be personal doesn't have to be directly related to your brand, it would be helpful if it was, but I don't think you get a pass with LinkedIn, and you're trying to be a business owner, I don't think people go there and go, Oh, he just does a bunch of other things for his career, he's not trying to sell me, you know, his business or anything like that. And that would just be my own personal reflection on that. But to build your brand, one, there's the external component. So what are you saying, you know, who are you saying to who you connecting with on a daily basis. And by connection, I literally mean having a 2030 minute phone call and following up in the future people that relate to what you're trying to sell. But then there's the internal component, which is like, I think I mentioned this earlier, what are you listening to? What are you reading? What sort of conversations are you having, you know, with yourself with other people? Those needs to be consistent in because that will help you move faster in what you're creating, be seen as an expert know what to talk about. Also, it leads to opportunities. I think, too, if you find a podcast that relates to your brand, go send them a message and try to guess on the podcast.
Michael Benatar 36:09
Was it? Was there anything that you ever had, like the imposter syndrome going through this at all? Like did that ever spark up when you're going to change in your brand?
36:19
I think imposter syndrome comes up all the time. Doesn't matter how successful you are. There's always someone that's more successful. Yeah, as a business owner, if you have, it's really easy to be scrolling on social media or be listening to someone and compare yourself to them. That's why it's really important to consistently tell yourself that you are unique, and whatever you're offering is unique just by definition, because it's coming from you and not that not anybody else. What Yeah, imposter syndrome comes up comes up a lot, which is why I think I focus so much on confidence in the beginning. Yeah, I don't know if you felt that way too. But there's, it's a constant conversation. It's not something that ever that ever really stops, it gets a little softer.
Michael Benatar 37:00
I think at first, I think there was a lot of that imposter syndrome, but I didn't feel like it was mine, like the company was ours, right? Like it felt like oh, yeah, this thing like he didn't, there wasn't a lot of confidence behind it, because we weren't maybe confident in what we're doing yet. But we're still moving forward, and eventually became more confident we're doing better things and you understand the business more. So I think it's also that time as well, just as it passes, you understand? Like, okay, like, I'm fine. Like we're doing the right thing.
Erin 37:30
Like it's yours, right?
Michael Benatar 37:32
Well, no, now it feels like you can talk to it better than before, because we would do farmers markets, and I think that was our biggest win, but also maybe biggest annoying sometimes. But we would do it every Saturday for I think over a year in our first year of business. But that's how we became friends with a lot of customers and understood what they wanted and understood how we could speak better to the brand and better to the company. So
Erin 37:57
yeah, it almost like helped us in training our personal brand. We had it we were there
Michael Benatar 38:02
every morning.
Erin 38:03
So venturing earlier you were mentioning, if you surround yourself by people who call you crazy, it might not be a good idea as an entrepreneur because you you know you have to take those risks. But our podcast Call me crazy. We always ask what is your call me crazy story. So maybe once you did surround yourself by someone that called you crazy. And what was that story when you kind of did that did that wild thing.
38:23
I know I kind of had a conflicting point. Because I mentioned you want to create a community that supports you and doesn't call you crazy and doesn't knock you down. Which is what a lot of people that started as an entrepreneur need, you know, end up having to change their friends and their social circles and actually distanced himself from family sometimes because people don't always understand what you're trying to build, they do call you crazy. Which is why then it's helpful to then meet people in the industry that don't call you crazy, they go you're on the right track, you're doing a great because it's just that little extra bit of support that helps with the imposter syndrome and such. But people have called me crazy, a decent amount, especially in just getting into the coaching space. I've been in the coaching space now for 10 years in different ways. And I can't tell you how many family functions I've been in how many holiday parties I've been a week ago, people pay you for what you're doing, huh? And this is not new. By the way. When I did my MBA in entrepreneurial management, they're like why, what What's that? What's, what's entrepreneurial? Why are you going to school to learn how to be an entrepreneur, it doesn't make any sense. It was just like, literally my whole life, but you want to be a soccer player and what are you crazy, you're crazy. So I think it's just been a constant theme throughout my whole life. I don't think I have one specific story. But with this with this business, it really has it's it's taken a turn because over the past couple years, you know, it's people seeing like the media that I've been on the, you know, I used to I used to host events and get one person to come I used to do in person events and it was it was a huge talk about learning how to become humble and learning that it's a process and now you know speaking in rooms of looking at 62 100 people in person you're in rooms of, you know, 500 600 people and virtually, it's, you know, to go to those people that were like you're crazy and then go, Oh, I get it. They're like, Oh, I get what you're doing. And then to have like, it's to have those people send you articles on the topic I want to talk to you about the topic is a pretty neat transition.
Michael Benatar 40:23
I think it's always hard to convince your family and really close friends of what you're doing sometimes too, because your family's like they know you your friends know you that you went to school with our high school friends, people that have known you for a while, I think it's really hard for them to see the difference in the brand or trust you in it at all. And I don't know I don't know what it is. And then when you do
Erin 40:42
it, I see you doing it, then you're creating a new version.
Michael Benatar 40:46
Yeah. That's true. Well, Benjamin, we love to have you on. We appreciate it. Your website live for yourself consulting Comm. We'll put all the links and everything in the descriptions everybody will find you later. We appreciate you. Thanks.